Monday, March 14, 2011

Too Old for Rap, Too Young for Bingo

These strange figures appeared in the street recently. I just found out what they were (see below).
 Still  looking for things (free and cheap) to do with my sister. She always takes me out – movies, theatre, dinner etc. when I go to her place. I was hoping to take her to the Ten Days on The Island Festival which has 232 free and ticketed events, but that doesn’t start until the day after she leaves, so I have been studying the community events calender in the local papers.

There are get -togethers for Alcoholics, Gamblers, Drug Addicts and Depressives, even for chronic Lung sufferers and their Carers but they sound a bit too depressing. There are a few crafts events like the Sorrel Knitting club, but it's an awfully long way to go. Goodwood has Line Dancing. Not sure it's her thing. Besides the car would be stripped before we got through the first scoot and shuffle. She would perhaps enjoy  a bit of Community singing, but being a philistine, I couldn’t imagine anything worse. Then there are all kinds of Golden Years Clubs offering Bingo or Bowls, or pubs offering Pokies and Snooker or one that offers “Shoot ‘n’ Shuffle” whatever that is.  The mind boggles. Since I don’t usually drink beyond the occasional binge and my sister can’t because of her allergies, none of those would work either.

A Book Club like the one mentioned in Midsomer Murders last week would be more to my taste. It was a cover for wives running a high powered investment club so their husbands wouldn’t find out that they were making money in their own right. The trouble was that it ended badly, with bitching, jealousy and snobbery leading to more dead bodies in one night than New York would see in week.
I knew there was a reason I didn't like joining things.

My sister would probably have liked the free lectures that used to be on at the Uni, like Everything you need to know about Quantum Physics, but even these seem to have been replaced by rock groups with scary names like Electronic Maniac, the Infected and The Screaming Eagles whose likely appeal I've already discussed. So what does that leave?
I will take her to Mona – David Walsh’s outrageous new Museum dedicated to Life, Sex and Death -not because of the Kulture, but the sensation. It’s bold, it’s free and got the most awful reviews. This is Tasmania after all. Besides I like his style. When I saw the building, I thought there had been an industrial accident while I was away – a meltdown of the EZ smelter perhaps, that had blown it a couple of kilometres away.  What can you expect from an eccentric millionaire who made his money as a professional gambler? I’ll let you know how it goes.
Those strange sculptures which have been appearing on street corners actually have a purpose. They are bicycle stands created for Hobart’s Art Bike Program, whereby you can rent a free bike, plus helmet and map, to tour the various galleries and cultural precincts. Now that could suit both of us, especially if the weather stays like this.

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