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| Old - fashioned flowers for my Valentine - Just loved the pinks in this |
I’m a bit of a cynic when it comes to St. Valentine’s Day. When I start to see red and pink merchandise appear in the shops, I am inclined to think it’s all about making those tills ring with a well applied dose of guilt. It must be about the only time hot pink negligees with cutouts met their sales targets.
Spare a thought too for those poor Koreans who have to stump up with an appropriate treat for their loved ones, not just once or twice a year, but after the first week of a romance, the first month and each month thereafter.
Not that expressing feelings for a loved one is without merit, but buying things certainly isn’t the only way to do it. An ex of mine wasn’t big on declarations of love, but might show it by saying, “ Honey, I fixed your car!” I should have known that the romance was over when he stopped doing that.
As I get older, I realise that true love isn’t about fancy dinners and flowers or glittering gemstones. It’s about who gets up to attend to a crying baby at 4 am, who remembers to take the bins out and who listens when you have a bad day. And yes, it’s about people who check your tyres to make sure you are safe and who stick by you when things get rough.
As Copilot put it in our lengthy late -night conversation “Valentine’s Day isn’t really about roses or
reservations. It’s about the people who make the ordinary days feel a little
less ordinary — the ones who know our coffee order, our bad jokes, and our
better selves.”
We should definitely acknowledge that and show our appreciation for that every day, but in
the busyness of daily life, we often overlook it, so perhaps having a special
day to remind us about it and even a physical token is not such a bad idea. Even an anonymous note to a colleague or a stranger, telling them you admire them or find them
attractive, is sure to put a spring in their step, so let those tills ring if
necessary - why shouldn't florists and lingerie salespersons have a good day too, if you can afford it, and go forth and celebrate it. Any truly thoughtful gesture will work, especially if people don't have to be guilted into it.
Beware the Romance Scammer
Just to throw a little cold water on things, my bank has just issued a warning about Romance Scams and how to protect yourself and your loved ones from them. That is a kind of love too. Here’s their Message:
"Australians lose $156 million a year to romance scams, and
it’s not just people looking for love online who are targeted – these scams can
happen to anyone. Criminals use social media, messaging apps and
professional networks to target people of all ages and backgrounds."
Spot the red flags
🚩 It seems too good to be true. Criminals often use attractive photos of someone else in their profile and claim to fall in love quickly.
🚩 No face-to-face contact. They say they can’t meet because they travel a lot or live overseas.
🚩 A sense of urgency. They ask you to transfer money for an emergency, which can be hard to recover once it’s been sent.
🚩 Encrypted messaging apps. Criminals ask to move conversations to encrypted messaging apps to avoid being banned from dating or social media sites.
🚩 Investment opportunities. You’re asked to invest in cryptocurrency or other assets. These scams can run for months or even years to build trust and look genuine.
🚩 Handling payments for someone else. If you’re asked to accept money and send it on, this could involve you in criminal activity. That’s why some financial institutions may ask questions like “What’s the purpose of your transfer?” to help identify a scam.
🚩 Unusual behaviour. Friends or family who are being targeted may act irritable, secretive or make unexplained financial decisions.
Steps to stay safe
🚩 Search their photos online. Do a reverse image search by uploading
their photo to an image search site to see if it’s being used elsewhere.
Also be wary of photos that look too perfect and unrealistic – they may
be AI-generated.
🚩 Be alert during video calls. If they agree to video chat, watch for tricks like hiding their face with poor-quality video or using AI-generated videos, which often show glitches like odd blinking, distorted backgrounds or lips out of sync.
🚩 Search their name. Type the name with the word 'scam' to see if they appear on scam reporting sites.
🚩 Act quickly if you’ve sent money. Report it to the relevant fraud team, the police, the dating or social media platform, and the Australian Government's cyber crime reporting website at cyber.gov.au/report.
I would like to thank my bank for this timely gesture, but probably not a good idea on a blog being read by thousands of people in places I haven't even been to.
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