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| Not there yet - Consider it aspirational |
-Image by Ylanite Koppens via Pixabay
The Great Clearout stalled when I got to the books, because I thought I should have a quick look at them before I passed them on. In the meantime my leg has gotten a bit better, so the urgency of getting rid of everything and selling the house has run out of steam as well. As I am starting to emerge from winter hibernation, I thought I would write about it instead.
Strangely, the more things I've sold the more there seem to be and the messier the place looks. I did pull everything out of the cupboards. One friend surveying the scene asked me if I was doing Swedish Death Cleaning. I was a bit taken aback. "Hey," I replied, "It's not that bad, I was just having a bit of trouble getting up and down the stairs" and she proceeded to explain what it was all about.
It turns out that Swedish Death Cleaning - döstädning in Svensk, isn't as grim as it sounds. It’s something people do as part of getting older, especially when nudging towards retirement. It’s about gently reflecting on your life and deciding what you need from it in future, whom you want to have your things and letting go of those you don’t need. The main thing is that you do it while you are still alive and not leaving it to your poor descendants to sort out when you do shuffle off.
One of its key features is talking to your family and friends about whether there are any of your possessions they would like and either giving them to them now, or when you no longer need them. It’s not MORBID. It can bring joy in the present as well as thinking about, and preparing for your future and goes along with grown -up things like making a will and having regular medical checkups. As someone wisely said,
“Let yours be the season of giving, and not your inheritors”
– Source unknown and no, it’s not Kahlil Gibran which I thought it was.
However, as it turns out my inheritors don't want this stuff either.
Death Cleaning has been done informally in Swedish culture for generations, but it became widely known thanks to Margareta Magnusson, a Swedish artist and author. Her 2017 book, "The Gentle Art of Swedish Death Cleaning," introduced the practice to the wider world. She described it as something Swedes naturally do as they age—typically beginning in their 50s or 60s—but emphasised that anyone can benefit from it at any stage of life.
Different Paths up the Same Mountain
If you are thinking it’s something like Marie Kondo's approach, whose decluttering work has also become very popular, the difference lies in the underlying philosophy. While both are about having less stuff, letting go of things and being more mindful about what we acquire, Marie Kondo is all about reducing clutter simply by keeping only those things which bring you joy and then storing them in an orderly fashion, to lighten your mood and your load. It’s bold and about visual and emotional effects, whereas Swedish Death Cleaning is more thoughtful, slower and about how you want to live and what you want to leave behind.
There is another older Japanese philosophy with Buddhist roots, called Danshari. This is more about a spiritual practice, a meditation as it were. The phrase was coined by Hideko Yamashita, a Japanese essayist and lifestyle consultant, in the 1990s. Sadly her books are only available in Japanese. It combines three Chinese characters:
- 断 (dàn) – Cut off: Stop acquiring things you don’t need.
- 舍 (shě) – Let go: Discard what you no longer use or love.
- 離 (lí) – Detach: Free yourself from attachment to possessions.
It’s less about organising and tidying, but about spiritual and emotional liberation from life's clutter through outward simplicity and these in turn spring from the same cultural soil — a long-standing Japanese aesthetic and ethical tradition that values:
- Ma (間) – the beauty of empty space
- Wabi-sabi – finding beauty in imperfection and impermanence
- Mottainai – a sense of regret over waste
It helps to explain why Japanese homes are always neat despite being small - something I greatly admired. Here's a brief summary:
HOW to Do Swedish Death Cleaning
1. Start with the easy stuff.
Begin with the areas of your home that carry little emotional weight—places like bathroom drawers, kitchen gadgets, or office supplies. These low‑stakes spaces help you build confidence and momentum before you move on to anything more personal or sentimental.
2. Work by category, not by room.
Gather all items of a single type—clothes, books, tools, kitchenware—so you can see the full picture of what you own. This prevents duplication, sharpens your decision‑making, and keeps the process focused rather than scattered across multiple rooms. I should have read this before!
3. Talk to your people.
A uniquely Swedish element of this practice is involving your loved ones early. Ask what items they might want someday, offer things now while you can enjoy the giving, and share the stories behind meaningful objects. It turns decluttering into a moment of connection rather than a solitary task. I am not letting my offspring near this. They are worse than me and will want to keep stuff from Grade 7, that even I would have parted with. I did find a home for son's Scout uniform from when he was about 10. He did look so cute in it. The Scouts have a Heritage Centre.
4. Decide what stays, what goes, and what gets passed on.
Use the guiding question of döstädning: “Will anyone be happier if I save this?” If the answer is no, let the item go—donate it, recycle it, or give it away. If the answer is yes, keep it or pass it on now so you can witness its appreciation.
5. Create a “throw‑away box.”
Set aside a clearly labelled box for items that hold meaning only for you—old letters, private notes, diaries, or personal mementos. This box signals to your loved ones that these items can be discarded without guilt, sparing them emotional guesswork later.
6. Handle paperwork with purpose.
Paper tends to accumulate quietly, so approach it with clarity. Keep only what is legally necessary, digitise what you can, and organise essential documents in a simple, clearly labelled system. This is one of the most practical gifts you can leave for the people who will someday manage your affairs.
7. Move slowly—this is not a weekend project.
Swedish Death Cleaning is meant to unfold gradually. You might spend twenty minutes a day, tackle one category per month, or work through a drawer each weekend. The pace doesn’t matter; the consistency does. It’s a process, not an event.
8. Let the process change you.
As you move through your belongings, you naturally reflect on your life, revisit memories, and clarify what truly matters. The result is a sense of lightness, control, and emotional clarity that grows with each step. Swedish Death Cleaning becomes less about tidying and more about shaping the life you want to live in future.
Both Swedish Death Cleaning and Mari Kondo have become global movements, embraced by people seeking simplicity, intentional living, and emotional clarity. All good things, but there is a downside to all this minimising. Thrift shops and Charity shops have been complaining about having to send loads of things to landfill. The Japanese focus on not wasting -Mottainai – a sense of regret over waste, should also be borne in mind.
Be mindful that your stress –free, joyful, decluttered life doesn’t become a burden to others and the environment. And annoyingly, I still have that nagging little voice in my head that says, if society or the economy collapses, you will be glad of a few tools and things to fix and make things with and a pile of books if the lights go out. A legacy of war and Depression Era parents I suspect, along some long-embedded folk memories of life on an island a long way from anywhere, when tools were gold. How do I get rid of that? And should I? And why do I still have a mountain of stuff?
I am waiting for that sense of lightness and clarity.
This story grew out of a discussion with Claude. Thank you for facts and figures
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