Sunday, December 11, 2011

I have just been for my annual service. You know, dentist, blood test, bone scan etc. Anyway, it turns out that my cholesterol  is up - and that's before Christmas! (Must be all that delicious Tasmanian cheese) so the doctor is talking about prescribing statins.

I looked them up on the web.The first three articles say that statins make you stupid
and cause memory loss to the point where people have been diagnosed as having Alzheimer's and been  removed to a facility for the bewildered, only to have all symptoms disappear the moment they stop taking them. 

Can't have that! 
Now there are some folks who want to die with their boots on and some who want to  die and leave a beautiful corpse like that suicidal starlet who died with her ballgown on and her head in a toilet bowl, but my ambition is to die with my synapses flashing, so I had better give up the cheese. On the other hand, a heart attack wouldn't be such a bad way to go. No lingering around past one's use -by date or worse still, being stuck with some with some horrible illness, becoming a burden to one's loved ones, or even worse, becoming dependent on the state's overstretched medical services where people have been known to drop off their perches while waiting in the waiting rooms. No, I would much rather go swiftly while doing something deliciously naughty and dangerous.

Not sure who said this first, but it's much more my style:

Remember:  

 'Life should NOT be a journey to the grave with the intention of arriving safely in an attractive and well preserved body, but rather to skid in sideways - Chardonnay in one hand - chocolate in the other - body thoroughly used up, totally worn out and screaming 'WOO HOO, What a Ride'
I quite like this quote too:

No pleasure is worth giving up for another two years in a retirement home in Weston –super –Mare –
Kingsley Amis, Writer

AND....

For those of you who watch what you eat, here's the final word on nutrition and health. It's a relief to know the truth after all those conflicting nutritional studies.

1. The Japanese eat very little fat and suffer fewer heart attacks than Americans.

2. The Mexicans eat a lot of fat and suffer fewer heart attacks than Americans.

3. The Chinese drink very little red wine and suffer fewer heart attacks than Americans.

4. The Italians drink a lot of red wine and suffer fewer heart attacks than Americans.

5. The Germans drink a lot of beers and eat lots of sausages and fats and suffer fewer heart attacks than Americans.

CONCLUSION

Eat and drink what you like.
Speaking English is apparently what kills you.
Yay! Way to go. Now where did I put that that double cream brie? That's about as dangerous as it gets around here.


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