Thursday, February 09, 2012

Hair today and gone tomorrow

What an idiot I am. I’d forgotten about the Law of Resistentialism. Can’t remember who thought of that. Maybe it was Aristotle because it was so long ago.  Anyway, basically it means that you tempt fate by doing the opposite of what you want.
In other words, if I want some peace and quiet for a couple of days, I shouldn’t even think of sitting here in my dressing gown.  No, I should rush about have a shower, clean up the house, do the last load of laundry, bake some muffins and pluck my eyebrows. That way no one will come for weeks.  The same applies if you need your baby to be sick because he or she has just swallowed the car keys or something worse like dishwashing liquid. Put on its best clothes, or the absolutely last thing left in the cupboard and lo and behold, your prayers will be answered in short order.
The reverse is also true. You want company, right? Empty the fridge, put on your daggiest clothes, start dying your hair or getting up to your elbows in something awful like cleaning out the chook pen, the oven or the cat’s bowl and they will come in droves.
Having a massive hangover works quite well too.

What inspired the rush to do my eyebrows, was an odd discussion I had with a man while I was waiting at the airport.  It was probably a pick up line seeing I was in the pick -up lane.

Between being chased around the block by the security guard for lingering longer than the legal 2 minutes he informed me:
1.       That he had lived and travelled all over the world
2.       That he hadn’t had a date in four years (wonder why?)
3.       That he loved hairy women
4.       That his last wife was Italian and I reminded him a lot of her. It’s true that extended jet travel does wonders for my hair – same goes for long distance driving – great for volumising should you need that kind of thing, but he would have been sorely disappointed if he was planning a long term relationship based on luxuriant armpits or whatever.
Alas, his pickup -ee arrived at that point and we could not pursue the matter further, but it does prove that there are folks out there, both men and women, who prefer their opposite numbers hirsuit rather than looking prepubescent or  having nether regions looking like "scrawny featherless birds."
Don’t believe me? Read the respondents’ comments in this article in yesterday’s Age.  It has nice tips on what's in and what isn't too.

While I am all in favour of hairless backs for both sexes and hairless chests for women and may even go so far as to shave my legs, remember fashion is a fickle thing, so  try not to do anything irreversible.

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